Studies suggest that they reduce irritability and anger in patients with borderline personality disorder. Indeed, the effects on anger are more pronounced than the effects on depression itself. Unfortunately, people with borderline personality disorder are often very sensitive to the side effects of these medications. This sensitivity, or the likelihood of their not complying with the requirements, has meant that they often do not give the medication an adequate chance to work. This is particularly problematic because people who have reduced serotonergic capacity appear to require more SSRIs than others to achieve therapeutic affects. If used carefully, however, with incremental increases in dose, SSRIs can be brought to levels that reduce impulsive aggression.
BPD is a personality disorder in which you have difficulties with how you think and feel about yourself and other people, and are having problems in your life as a result of this. For example, people with BPD may jump to negative conclusions if they reach out to a friend and don’t hear back in a short span of time. When that happens, their thoughts spin out of control and they arrive at the conclusion that they have no friends and because of that, begin to experience intense emotions that may lead to self-harm. For example, I have a habit of internalising and avoiding my emotions. When this happens, I disengage from the situation completely. For dating, this is impractical as it can lead to a lack of communication.
The condition is often misdiagnosed and misunderstood, according to Anthony Smith, a licensed mental-health counselor with 17 years of experience in the Massachusetts court system diagnosing mental illness. We can look at the notion of vulnerabilities in the biology of the brain as being similar to the vulnerabilities predisposing a person to hypertension or diabetes. The power of the mind can be brought to bear on managing the brain.
What if you are in a relationship with someone with BPD?
There were moments when Navabi doubted her entitlement to certain boundaries, like anger towards the lack of communication in her previous relationship. “Because of the existing stereotypes, if something hurt me, I would go ‘oh, it’s probably just the BPD’ instead,” she tells me. Although initially understanding, my friends, family, and therapist are now showing some light concern over my total ambivalence to relationships.
Knowing if your partner has BPD might be the first step to learning how to cope as a couple. Although a label often comes with a stigma, it can be a useful tool that leads to the right information and treatment. If your partner is yet to be diagnosed, here are some signs that they may have BPD. When you are with a partner with BPD, you may feel like you can not do anything right.
It is often used to gain some sort of advantage over the target by weakening their clarity and hence their judgment so that they can be taken advantage of in some way. I miss her a lot but I have to remember that I fell for an illusion, not a person. The real person is encapsulated by the good and bad, with a disorder pulling the strings and will ultimately entangle me.
Relationship Triggers and BPD
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You may also want to consider expressing your needs to be listened to and encouraging your partner to double-check before assuming how you feel. There are some ways you can strengthen your partnership by working together on a few strategies. Knowing this ahead of time can help the two of you prepare for the future. You may want to discuss a savings account or a backup plan, so you’re aligned when it comes to finances. For example, your partner may think you look bored and conclude you’re not happy with them. You may actually be adding up the tip for the bill in your head.
This is key, so you can learn to react appropriately and defuse potentially confrontational situations before they become a relationship-ending fight. Trauma, particularly childhood abuse, seems to be one of the contributing factors to the development of symptoms, as well as genetics and brain differences. The BPD relationship cycle isn’t a formal symptom of the condition. Some BPD relationship cycles may take place over months or years, depending on the severity of symptoms. They may also restart the relationship cycle, thinking about how perfect you were and wondering if they can get you back.
He prescribed mood stabilizers, which she abandoned because of the weight gain they caused. The next counselor felt that her problems arose from repressed memories of sexual abuse at the hands of her father, and spent sessions talking about her childhood traumas. At the time, she was dating her best friend, who would ignore Navabi for days. They had their own mental health issues, but seeing them active on social media and interacting with others caused extreme distress. “I’d have physical chest pains and be immobilised by it,” she says. On one of these occasions, she spent three days paralysed in bed, only to recover by emotionally detaching completely.
Starting a Romantic Relationship
Individuals with borderline personality disorder are particularly sensitive to feeling shamed. He is not sure anymore whether the conversation with Jen about taking Gary for the shot happened or not. He can’t admit that he is no longer sure because that is like admitting to being flawed. He lashed out at Jen and then got sick with an intense mixture of feelings. Childhood trauma can play a role in both the development of BPD as well as future triggers.